Standardized testing season is the time of year when stress levels spike and even the calmest kids start feeling the pressure. If your child is gearing up for the STAAR (State of Texas Assessments of Academic Readiness), you might be wondering how to support them without adding to their anxiety. The good news? You absolutely can help your child feel prepared and calm during testing season.
Validate Their Worries
First and foremost, let’s acknowledge the elephant in the room: tests can be stressful! Even if you know your child is fully capable, they may still feel overwhelmed. Instead of brushing off their worries with a “You’ll be fine,” try reflecting their feelings:
- “You are feeling nervous about the test. That makes sense—it’s a big deal at school.”
- “You’re worried. You’ve been working hard, and you want to do well.”
Sometimes, kids just need to know that their feelings are normal and that you understand.
Keep the Pressure Low
Schools are already doing plenty to emphasize the importance of these tests. So much so that it might feel like the fate of the universe hangs in the balance. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t. Your child does not need the added weight of feeling like their self-worth depends on a test score.
Remind them (and yourself) that while doing their best is great, their value is not tied to a number on a paper. Try saying:
- “This test is just one way to see what you’ve learned—it doesn’t measure how hard-working, thoughtful, or creative you are.”
- “Your job is to try your best, and no matter what, you should be proud of yourself.”
Focus on Calm, Not Cram
Cramming the night before? Not helpful. Running through practice questions at the breakfast table? Probably not the best plan. Instead, focus on keeping a calm routine in the days leading up to the test. A few ways to do this:
- Sleep matters – Aim for a consistent bedtime leading up to the test (yes, even for the night owls!).
- Nutrition helps – A balanced breakfast is better than a sugar rush followed by a crash.
- Breaks are essential – Encourage movement, fresh air, and brain breaks instead of non-stop studying.
- Deep breaths go a long way – Practicing some simple breathing exercises together can help lower stress levels. Try the 4-7-8 method: breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 7, and exhale for 8.
Reframe the Mindset
Help shift their thinking from “This test is terrifying” to “I’ve got this.” One way to do this is with positive self-talk. Encourage them to say things like:
- “I am prepared and ready to do my best.”
- “I can stay calm and focused.”
- “This test does not define me.”
Celebrate Effort, Not Just Results
When the test is over, celebrate your child—not because of how they did, but because they showed up and tried. Plan a fun activity, bake their favorite cookies, or just let them know you’re proud of their hard work.
Final Thoughts
At the end of the day, the STAAR test is just one small moment in your child’s education journey. What matters more is their overall growth, confidence, and well-being. So take a deep breath, support your kiddo, and remember—this too shall pass.
If your child struggles with anxiety around tests or school in general, therapy can be a great way to help them build confidence and coping skills. At Lily Pad Child & Adolescent Counseling, we support kids and parents through all the ups and downs of childhood and adolescence. If you’d like to learn more, contact me anytime.
With play and presence,
Brianna Henderson, LPC, RPT, CCPT | Founder & Play Therapist
