Conversations about bullying can feel heavy, for children and parents alike. Children need safety, validation, and emotional space to process experiences of harm, exclusion, or intimidation. While bullying is never right, it is an unfortunate reality for many children. Being prepared to have this discussion, should it come up or has come up, can help you feel more equipped to address it with confidence.
Our goal is not only to gather information, but to:
- Understand your child’s emotional experience
- Support their sense of worth and safety
- Empower their voice
- Strengthen coping and self-advocacy
Why Children Don’t Always Share When Bullying Happens
Many children do not speak up when they are being bullied. There are many reasons for this, ranging from not understanding the concept of bullying, to negative feelings, or fears of getting into trouble. Children may stay silent because they:
- Feel ashamed or embarrassed
- Worry they’ll get in trouble or the bully would retaliate
- Fear retaliation or losing friendships
- Don’t yet have words for their feelings
- Believe it’s “their fault”
- Think adults won’t understand
Play therapy reminds us that behavior, play, and tone may reveal clues long before a child speaks directly.
Watch for:
- Avoidance of certain peers or spaces
- Sudden school anxiety
- Decline in mood or confidence
- Increased irritability or shutdown
- Regression or clinginess
- Themes of power or rejection in play
These may signal relational stress.
Creating a Safe Space for Sharing
Instead of interrogating with questions, begin with presence.
- Sit beside rather than across
- Offer play materials or drawing tools
- Keep your voice warm and calm
Say:
“I’m here, and you can tell me anything.
Whatever you share, you won’t be in trouble.”
Let silence do its work.
Children often reveal experiences gradually.
Reflect Feelings Before Facts
From a CCPT perspective, emotional validation comes first:
- “That was really hurtful.”
- “You felt small and scared.”
- “Your body didn’t feel safe.”
- “It sounded confusing and lonely.”
Validation communicates:
“Your experience matters. You did not deserve this.”
Avoid Minimizing or Problem-Solving Too Quickly
Well-meaning responses like:
- “Just walk away”
- “Ignore them”
- “Stand up for yourself”
may leave children feeling unsupported.
Instead, stay curious:
- “What was the hardest part for you?”
- “What did your body feel in that moment?”
- “What do you wish an adult had done?”
Curiosity strengthens trust.
Use Play as a Processing Tool
Children often process bullying themes in play. You may see:
- Power vs. powerless roles
- Rescue scenarios
- Rebuilding or winning back control
Repetition of stressful events
During play:
- Describe what you observe
- Reflect emotions
- Avoid directing the story
Play allows children to re-author their experience.
Empower Without Pressuring
Say:
- “You didn’t deserve to be treated that way.”
- “You have the right to feel safe.”
- “It’s my job to help protect you.”
Discuss support options collaboratively:
- Contacting school staff
- Identifying safe adults
- Practicing assertive phrases
- Planning safe exits
Empowerment means shared problem-solving rather than forcing bravery.
Support Social-Emotional Healing
Help your child rebuild:
- Self-esteem
- Body confidence
- Sense of belonging
Provide:
- Quality one-on-one time
- Affirmations of worth
- Opportunities for joyful play
- Friendships that feel safe
Healing happens in safety and relationship.
When Professional Support May Help
Consider play therapy when:
- Your child shows ongoing fear or anxiety
- Emotional distress intensifies
- They replay bullying themes repeatedly
- Sleep or appetite change
- School refusal emerges
- Shame or self-doubt increase
Play therapy provides a protected relational space for:
- Processing relational harm
- Reclaiming empowerment
- Restoring self-trust
Closing Thoughts
Talking about bullying requires courage from children and caregivers. Through presence, validation, and connection, we communicate:
“You are not alone. Your feelings are real.
You deserve safety and we will walk through this together.”
By going the step as a caregiver to demonstrate bravery and courage, you model and help amplify your child’s voice which will further enhance their own confidence.
With play and presence,
Lauren Walter, LPC-Associate | Play Therapist
Supervised by Sheila D. Thompson, LPC-S, RPT-S
