Seven-year-old Casey is curled up on the couch with the tablet, focused on a game. Mom calls from the kitchen, “Casey, time to turn it off. Dinner’s almost ready!”
Casey doesn’t move. Shoulders tightened, eyes stayed glued to the screen. “Just one more minute!” Casey shouts.
When Mom repeats the request, Casey’s face turns red, slams the tablet down on the floor and yells, “It’s not fair! You always make me lose!” Tears well up as Casey storms out of the room, slamming another door with a loud thud.
Casey’s Mom stands in the kitchen, torn between frustration and worry. She wonders if the tablet is the problem, or if it’s something deeper. Could it be Casey’s need for control, hunger for escape, or maybe even a desire for connection?
Sound familiar?
It’s 2025 – screens are everywhere. School textbooks are replaced with tablets and laptops. Teenagers’ eyes are glued to their phones. Toddlers’ gaze locked to the TV screen.
For parents, managing screen time can feel like a continual battle of tug-of-war. Children want more, parents want less and conflict ensues.
Child-Centered Play Therapy offers a different perspective on this challenge. Instead of focusing only on rules and restrictions, CCPT invites us to see your child’s needs beyond screen use. Underneath, children have needs for connection, play, and autonomy.
1. See the Child, Not Just the Screen
In Child-Centered Play Therapy, our core belief is simple. Children are doing the best they can to get their needs met. A child glued to a table isn’t just “being difficult”. They may be seeking out comfort, control, or escape. Before jumping in to set a limit, pause and ask yourself:
- What is my child needing from the screen right now?
- What feelings are showing up when I say it’s time to turn it off?
This shift moves parents’ focus from control to curiosity.
2. Create Space for Choices
Children thrive when they feel a sense of agency. Instead of a flat “No more screens”, try offering choices within limits:
- “You can play for 10 more minutes, then choose if you’d like to draw or play outside.”
- “Would you like to turn off the tablet now, or do you want me to set a timer to help you know when it’s time?”
- “By choosing to not turn off the screen, then you choose not to play with it tomorrow.”
By honoring their ability to choose, you reduce resistance and build cooperation.
CCPT Principle in Action: Empowerment. Children learn responsibility when they are given safe, meaningful choices.
3. Replace Screens with Connection
Oftentimes, kids resist turning off screens because they don’t see a more inviting alternative. You can bridge the gap with connection:
- Invite them into play: “I’d love to see what kind of tower you can build with these blocks.”
- Share presence: “Let’s walk the dog together and count how many squirrels we see.”
- Use humor: Turn screen time transitions into a silly game (robot voices, hopping to the next activity).
Children are more likely to put down screens when they feel they’re gaining something, such as time with you, rather than losing something. We use screens to decompress and relax. By building connections, we can offer them other ways to relax to where it does not end with a power struggle.
4. Model Healthy Tech Use
Children notice how adults use screens, too. If we model a culture of constant scrolling while asking them to limit their own time, the message feels confusing. Instead, try narrating your choices:
- “I’m turning off my phone now because I want to rest my brain.”
- “I’ll check this message, and then I’ll be all yours for our game.”
Modeling balance teaches kids that screens are a tool, not the center of life.
5. Focus on Relationship Over Rules
While structuring matters, CCPT reminds us that relationships always come first. If screen time rules become a daily battle, I encourage you to step back and re-center yourself.
- Are my rules developmentally realistic?
- Am I hearing my child’s perspective about why screens matter to them? – Do they feel understood, even when limits are firm?
When children feel respected and connected, they are more willing to cooperate.
Final Thoughts
Managing screen time doesn’t have to be a power struggle. By approaching it with curiosity, choice, and connection, you can support your child in developing a healthy relationship with technology, while strengthening your relationship with them.
In the end, we want to shift our mindset that it’s not just about less screen time. It’s about more play, more connection, and more space for children to grow into their full selves.
With play and presence,
Lauren Walter, LPC-Associate | Play Therapist
Supervised by Magan Mangold, LPC-S
